Karma Grinds Slow But Exceedingly Fine – Update April 2019

Sing It Stevie!!

It seems so long ago. October 2016. 2 1/2 years ago. At the time my so called business partner had shoved a giant knife in my back. Go back a few posts and read it for the background. In his greed and shortsightedness he thought he would figuratively turn into Al Pacino from Scarface. The world would be his oyster.

The King!

At that time I honestly did not know how I was going to recover from that. That wonderful human being had locked me out of everything. I mean everything. Being the somewhat cautious person I am, fortunately I kept a backup copy of our customer database and some other important records. Even with those backups I knew I was in for a rough ride. Almost 4 years of hard work down the drain because I trusted someone I never should have. I did not listen to that little voice in the back of my head. It’s interesting because about 3 weeks after it happened I stumbled across by the weirdest circumstances a psychic that offered a session. I really do not give too much credence to psychics even though I have run across 4 or 5 in my life that told me things that there is NO WAY they could have known. No leading questions just straight out facts that blew my mind when they told me.

Well, this psychic I crossed paths with in October 2016 told me the same thing. One of the first things she told me was that I don’t listen very well to my “inner guidance”. I’m not sure if she said inner guidance but she did say I do not listen very well when “something” is trying to tell me something. She said you tend to ignore it. And she was right. She told me other things that were aligned with what I knew.

A long time ago I met an older woman that took my name including my middle name and wrote it on a piece of paper. She then started drawing lines under each letter. Row after row. After she was done it sort of looked like an upside down pyramid. When she finished she studied it. And then she spoke. What she told me blew my mind. I can’t remember everything but I do remember being blown away listening to this woman describe my life.

Another time early on in my life I ran across a couple that could see auras. Now little ol Laurie sort of laughed in my mind but the gentleman was very cordial and asked if I wanted mine read. I was in a good mood and I said ok. Well, in his living room he had a large full length mirror. It was very ornate and old. He asked me to stand in front of it. He stood directly behind me and just said to look at my image but don’t stare at it. Gaze at it but in a sort of non-focused way. He said most everyone can see auras if they practice. Well I tried and I gazed but I could not see any. After awhile he began to describe what he saw and what colors were showing and what they meant and what the breaks in the colors meant. He started to describe something that was happening in my life at that moment. He then started to talk about very specific things that were happening to me. I had just met this guy about 20 minutes before in the course of my business.

There were another 3 or 4 times I met people in the course of my business that after speaking to them for a while I felt there was something different about them. It’s hard to explain but it’s something you feel. And those 2 or 3 others were equally mind astounding. One was a woman. A friend of a friend. She spoke to my friend on the phone and asked me if I wanted to talk to her. I said sure. Well, she began to tell me things on the phone that there is NO WAY she could know. Even my friend did not know those things about me. This woman went on to say one thing I did not take much thought of. She told me (and I still have the tape somewhere) that in 6 or seven years I would start an import/export business. I never had the slightest interest in import/export businesses. My business at the time was local. Here’s the really weird thing and I still get goosebumps saying this. About 6 years later I did start a very successful import business. How about them apples?

I could go on with a few other psychic stories and I could go on with my lifelong intuition but suffice to say I do believe there is more to this world than what you can bang a hammer on. I have lived in three haunted houses in my life. The last one was VERY haunted. VERY. I had never been in such a place where sounds and manifestations took place. Mainly after dark and in the middle of the night. Knocks, scrapes, phones ringing in the middle of the night, text typing by itself on my phone in the middle of the night, footsteps downstairs, footsteps upstairs in the hallway, items missing then reappearing the next day, toilets that flush by themselves, very cold parts of the house, footsteps on the roof in the middle of the night, computers that reboot themselves 3 or 4 times a day, did I mention items that disappear and then reappear a day or two later. Yea. I know some of you think I must be nuts. You had to have been there. Never in my life had I come across anything that intense. The other two places were minor in comparison if you consider footsteps in the room above you and the stairs squeaking like someone is coming downstairs normal.

Anyhoos, not sure how I got off on this woo woo tangent. Suffice to say that I need to listen more to that “inner voice”.

L

Somewhere In Colorado

“Something is about to happen. Something very wonderful.”

something2.jpg
This post was composed under the magical influence of Sara (Tucson 1980) By Stevie Nicks


What Goes Around Comes Around – June 2018 Update

On November 26, 2016 I made a long post about my “business partner” that stabbed me in the back, locked me out of all our business accounts and tossed me overboard. Well, well, well…. my how a little time changes every thing. He thought he was a big shot and knew everything about the business that basically I started and ran day-to-day. I did 99.9% of the work and he got 50% of the profit. Every month. His eyes got big. He thought he was a genius. If he cut me out and locked me out he could have it all! 100% of the profits. Yea. He thought so.

Turns out that a few birdies have been whispering in my ears. He burned our biggest supplier for a TON of money in the summer of 2017. He kept the money owed them and found a new supplier. Over time since the summer of 2017 I have been getting more and more whispers about what was actually going on. He lost our best account in the spring of 2017. He used the money he stole from me and from our biggest supplier to start another business in 2017. That business finally went belly up in February 2018. And I mean BIG BELLY UP!! Employees quitting due to his fraud with customers, etc… Another of our original suppliers terminated his account in March 2018 due to non-payment. His business phone lines are dead. In March of 2018 a birdie told me he approached one of my friends and asked to borrow $10,000. The friend said sure you can. If you put up collateral for the loan. At that point my ex business partner hung up the phone. Imagine that! He wanted a $10K loan for free with no collateral!

His house was foreclosed on in late 2017. The bank sold his house in the spring of 2018 and he received a 30 day eviction notice from the sheriffs. After speaking to our old suppliers I was informed his business had dropped down to 5% of what it was when he stabbed me in the back in October 2016.

Aint it sweet. The man who thought he was invincible stumbled and fell off the cliff.

Schadenfreude (/ˈʃɑːdənfrɔɪdə/German: [ˈʃaːdn̩ˌfʁɔʏ̯də] (About this sound listen)lit. ‘harm-joy’) is the experience of pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction that comes from learning of or witnessing the troubles, failures, or humiliation of another.

Coyu featuring Cari Golden Profound Pleasure — Schadenfreude

Do I feel bad? Should I feel bad? Is it bad to enjoy Schadenfreude? Do I have an ounce of sympathy or empathy for him? The answer to all above is no, I do not. Since October 2016 I have learned that is his modus operandi. To steal from others. To lie, cheat and steal anyway he could from anyone. Karma has just begun for him. Karma grinds slow but exceedingly fine.

The good news out of all of this is just like what I said back in the November 2016 post. That I would look back in 6 months or a year and laugh about it. And that’s exactly what happened. In many ways it was good. It freed me from a nightmare. I had known for about a year things with him were getting worse and worse. I wanted to cut the cord but kept putting it off. He played his hand and made the decision for me in late 2016.

As of today I have built the business back to 80% of what it was in late 2016. And that is fine with moi. Now I keep all the profits and do not have to give any away to lazy, good for nothing freeloaders and scammers.

Behind every dark cloud there is a silver lining. It’s so true. I was going nuts back in late 2016 but now I can say it’s probably the best thing that could have happened. At the time I could not see it. A year and a half later it’s crystal clear.

Keep your mind on your dream. Don’t look at the past. See it as clear as day in your mind. Think about it everyday. Live it in your mind. Live every minor detail. See yourself as if it was actually in the physical world. Do not listen to the doubters and the negativity. Keep your dream to yourself. It’s your dream and no one else’s. The dreams I have seen come true most likely would mean little to you. Because it’s not your dream. Your dream fits you like a glove. Likely it does not or could not fit others. Be careful who you tell your dream to. If anyone. My advice is to tell no one. And even when it comes true tell no one. A bag of gold does not increase in value if others know about it. People tend to not care. Because it’s not their dream. Why should they? It’s your dream. Your hearts desire. What drives you mad. What keeps you awake at night. What you think about all the time. It wants to reach you just as bad as you want to reach it. That’s what the burning desire deep inside you feeling is. It’s indescribable but that’s as close to the feeling as I know. It’s way, way beyond words. Don’t be one of those who on their deathbed is filled with regrets the way they lived their life.


Life is too short to deal with negative people and negative situations. Be different. Chart your own course. Be the captain of your own ship. Not a first mate on an ocean liner.

Time passes so quickly. You will blink and 20 years has gone by.  I will leave you with two quotes. Both are by Steve Jobs.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”


L

Somewhere In Colorado

“Something is about to happen. Something very wonderful.”

something2.jpg

This post was composed under the magical influence of Fleetwood Mac – Sara (Maxi Extended Rework D0CT0RS0UL D.J. friendly Edit) By DOCTORSOUL

Do you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing?

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

 

L

Somewhere In New Mexico

“Something is about to happen. Something very wonderful.”

something2.jpg

This post was composed under the very magical influence of Peaceful Easy Feeling by The Eagles

 

How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World

A long time ago I came across a book that changed my life. It might change yours if you want it as bad as I did. In 1974 I was in a bookstore and came across this. The title instantly jumped out at me. After reviewing several chapters in the bookstore I purchased it. The book? How I found Freedom In An Unfree World.

How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World
How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World

I was rather young when I stumbled across this book but the more times I read this book the more I wanted to invoke the strategies I discovered within its pages. It took a while but day by day, month by month, year by year I tried to apply the strategies into my life. I could see the writing on the wall even back then at my tender age. Fast forward to 2018. The names have changed but the play is still the same.

I came across a woman recently that read this book later in her life. After much soul-searching she ended her marriage of 38 years to pursue her dream. A dream she had since very young but never had the opportunity to pursue it. Well, she mentioned that ending her bad marriage, however painful, was the best thing she ever did. After a year she ran into a man who shared her ideals in life and married him. Since then they have pursued their mutual dream together with a passion she had not known since she was a little girl. It was very hard in the beginning when she divorced. She had never lived alone or paid bills by herself. But little by little she discovered it was not that hard to do. The thing that impressed Little Laurie was she threw in the towel on a 38-year-old investment (however bad it was) to strike out into the unknown to pursue her dreams she held secretly inside her heart her entire life.

I think a lot of folks have that secret dream inside them but due to age, responsibilities or whatever they put their dream away into the far recesses of their mind. Only to be taken out and looked at in their most private moments alone. I have always thought of it as a mirrorball. You know a large globe with many, many small mirrors attached. For the most part most folks only show to the public the front facing part of the mirrorball. The part for public consumption. But towards the back of that mirrorball are secrets and dreams that are held in secret for fear of what “others” will say or think. Now that is a real prison. A prison of the mind. When I meet folks I always try to imagine what their secret dream they have held onto for years and decades might be. The dream they never told anyone about. The dream that never really dies. The dream that many take to their deathbed.

When I die I don’t want to look back and regret so many things I never did in my life. I want to say “Wow! that was a great ride! I accomplished just about everything I set out to do! It was so much fun!”

BTW, if you would love to hear the author of How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World give a one hour talk about his book here is a link to that video.

Harry Browne talks about his book How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World

 

L

Somewhere In Colorado

“Something is about to happen. Something very wonderful.”

something2.jpg

This post was composed under the very magical influence of Bennie And The Jets by Elton John

 

I Can’t Get It Out Of My Head – Memories That Haunt My Soul

I suppose all of us have certain memories that stay with us over the years. Memories that mean little or nothing to 99.99999% of the population. But these memories haunt you. There is something about them that casts a vivid image in your mind. You close your eyes and the experience unfolds itself in your mind to such a degree it’s difficult to separate it from reality. Much like a vivid dream in the moments before you wake. You could swear you were really there seconds ago but now you look around and all you see is your bedroom. But a few seconds ago you really were somewhere else. It was so real you could touch it. You could feel and hear it. Those are the type of memories that haunt my mind. Something that happened long ago yet seem like it was yesterday.

The one that struck me this morning was a young woman by the name of Maida Carpio Scott. This was her last tweet on the morning of July 18, 2016 while she was having breakfast at the IHOP in Ellensburg, WA.

 

Maida Carpio Scott 7.18.16 last twitter
Maida Carpio Scott

Here is a photo of her near Custer State Park.

 

Maida Carpio Scott 2008 Kawasaki Vulcan
Maida Carpio Scott

Here’s another at Pikes Peak.

 

Maida Carpio Scott Pikes Peak
Maida Carpio Scott

And another.

 

Maida Carpio Scott Roadtrip
Maida Carpio Scott

Her tweet from July 14, 2016

 

Maida Carpio Scott 7.18.16 twitter
Maida Carpio Scott

I was riding the same road she was on just 3 weeks before. Up PCH then I cut across Washington heading for Montana. While in Billings this is what I came across.

 

Maida Carpio Scott GoFundMe Page

 

Maida was on her way home to Colorado when a truck crossed over the center line.

She was doing what she loved to do. Riding a motorcycle cross-country.

 

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.

Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it, and that is how it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It’s life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.”

Steve Jobs

 

L

Somewhere In Texas

“Something is about to happen. Something very wonderful.”

something2.jpg

This post was composed under the magical influence of Can’t Get It Out Of My Head by ELO

 

Timid Souls Who Neither Know Victory Nor Defeat

It is not the critic who counts;
not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles,
or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly; who errs,
who comes short again and again,
because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;
but who does actually strive to do the deeds;
who knows great enthusiasms,
the great devotions;
who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
and who at the worst,
if he fails,
at least fails while daring greatly,
so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

 

L

Somewhere In Texas

“Something is about to happen. Something very wonderful.”

something2.jpg

This post was composed under the magical influence of Dreamboat Annie by Heart

 

 

When You Build Your House Then Call Me Home

Dreams Do Come True
A heartbeat that never goes away. It stays in your thoughts your entire life. It drives you. It consumes your thoughts. It overpowers your emotions. It’s the voice that has no voice. It speaks in a language unknown to most. Unexplainable. Undefinable. Unmeasurable. Limitless. It knows no bounds. It is not constricted by time nor thought. It knows nothing of failure. Distance means nothing to it. It has been by your side since the day you were born yet most have never met it. It patiently waits. For to it, time has no meaning. Whether it takes 10 years or eons it matters not. It is already home. It knows you are separated and wants to help. But until you want it as bad as you would want air if held underwater it will not come home.

Today I stumbled across an old notebook of mine from 2014. In it I wrote some thoughts I had that summer oh so very long ago when the seed was still growing.

June 5th 2014

Have you ever had a burning dream locked away inside your soul, burning so bright and so deep all day and all night long it rips your very essence apart knowing it has not come true. A fire inside so strong it overwhelms your soul with its yearning to be free of its constraints, to burn inside you with such intensity that all else pales in comparison, something that cannot be explained, something so far beyond words, beyond feelings, beyond thought, something so deep it yearns for decades to become real, yet has never appeared in the exterior world. It drives you mad with intensity, like gasping for air when held underwater, you see it in its completion in your mind, every day and waking hour of your life, yet not a soul besides yourself knows of it nor could understand why it’s so important. Something so real, more real than the external world, more vivid than anything you could possibly imagine, a dream that refuses to die.

The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.

How bad do you want your dream? Like air if you were held underwater or it’s OK if it never happens? That burning desire inside, that all-consuming desire, that almost unbearable yearning inside you that has no words to describe it, that is what will bring your dreams into this world. That feeling that has no words are your very dreams trying with all their might to reach you.

When you build your house
Then call me home


 

L

Somewhere In Texas

“Something is about to happen. Something very wonderful.”

something2.jpg

This post was composed under the magical influence of Sara by Stevie Nicks

 

All My Memories Gather Round Me

Do you ever feel you were born on the wrong planet? Do you ever look around you and say to yourself WTF? Do you ever wonder what the purpose of your life is? Do you ever look up at the Milky Way at night in the middle of nowhere and wonder what it’s all about? Do you ever get a feeling something is just not right? Do you ever try to speak with people and all you get is that blank eyed stare cows have? Do you ever look at what other folks do with their lives and wonder why anyone would do that or would even want to? Are you a square peg in a round hole world? Do you have itchy feet? Do you love to travel? Do you love to visit new places and explore? Do you march to the beat of a different drummer?

I plead guilty to all of the above. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than to look at the stars at night far away from the maddening cities and ponder what was, what is, and what will be. Would that be imagination? Or something else? It’s hard to say. In my mind images take on a life of their own. It’s like 3-D movie swirling in my mind. Perhaps that’s why I gave up television and movies a long, long time ago. Sure, I still watch a few programs, mainly historical or educational but for the most part I have no desire for a TV or movies. That’s pretty odd eh in our media saturated society. Sometime I wonder what a person from 150 years ago would say if he was somehow transported to 2017. Probably die of a heart attack from the non-stop constant barrage of media images.

That said I did see a movie this week. Which is so rare for me I cannot remember the last time I went to the cinema. Actually I can. It was in 2012 and it was for a movie that was directed by the same director as the one I saw this week. Ridley Scott. Yes, I am the world’s biggest science-fiction fan. I remember seeing the first Alien on the big screen way, way back. This week I had to see Alien:Covenant. Yes, I cheated and read some of the reviews on IMDB and there were a lot of the “WTF has Ridley done to the Alien franchise???”  Yes it is very hard to understand that so-called highly trained scientists would do some of the most stupid things ever imaginable but hey it’s just a movie. Or is it? I like Ridley because he isn’t afraid to dwelve into deeper concepts. I enjoy his films due to the overt and the deeper, more hidden concepts. The concepts that I was thinking about a long, long time ago. Way, way before the first Alien hit the silver screen. The WOO WOO stuff. The woo woo concepts that are not spoken of in polite society. In polite society one only speaks of the latest media blitzes spread across the vast media canvasses of tv, radio and news. Those things are more or less ok to ponder and comment on. Off that track down into the rabbit hole the masses lose their footing and run for the safe surface.

Ridley’s concepts are something for another post but I just love to ponder on the food for thought he tosses out. Is it just a stupid movie or is it an allegory? Does life exist somewhere else? Or is this rock we are on for a split second all there is? These are the sort of concepts I ponder out in the country all by myself looking up at the Milky Way at 1 in the morning.

Milky Way Galaxy
Milky Way Galaxy – From Way Out In The Middle Of Nowhere Spanish Peaks Colorado

Every once in a while a meteor or two will appear (especially in August, the 2017 Perseid meteor shower will peak on the night of August 12 and early morning of August 13) that whets my appetite more. I’ve always owned telescopes my whole life. There’s something about a telescope that words cannot describe. Below is the one I have owned for a long, long time. A Meade LX200 8 inch.

Meade LX200 8 inch

I guess I am just a horse of a different color. Someone that marches to the beat of a different drummer. Things that interest me bore others. Things that others are interested in just plain bore me to death for the most part. In a world of common I must be the most uncommon person on this planet. I ran across a video today that pretty much sums up my ideas on what is normal and what is not. What pursuits are worth it and which ones are not. At least to little ol Laurie. Take a peek at this video and see if you are a horse of a different color too!

And here is something I will leave you with. A timeline trailer of Alien:Covenant that pretty much tells you what to expect and it has John Denver singing Country Roads. What more can you ask?

 

L

Somewhere In Texas

“Something is about to happen. Something very wonderful.”

something2.jpg

This post was composed under the magical influence of Country Roads by John Denver

Never Been A Millionaire

That’s a funny title for a post huh? See the name of the song below that this post was composed under and you will understand. Well, I just noticed a few minutes ago that this is the 6 month anniversary to the date where my “business partner” shoved a knife in my back and tossed me overboard halfway to Hawaii. Of course he did not physically toss me overboard on a real sailboat but it might as well been that way. Greed and Sloth got the better of him. For all practical purposes I was thrown overboard with a knife in my back and set adrift. In the past 6 months I have learned a lot more about the situation and he is not having the best time. Some folks think they know how to ride a motorcycle but when they step up to the plate things don’t go as planned. I give that fool another 6 months or so and he will be belly up and asking for $5 for a chicken dinner as he once did to me in 2012. Certain birdies have kept me informed on what has been going on and it is not pretty for him. But he thinks he is Midas and can do it all. We’ll come back in 6 months from now and see what has happened to him after a year.

This is exactly why I am a loner and introvert at heart. In my life I have rarely come across anyone that can be trusted. Yes, for the little things for sure. But somehow when money starts getting involved for some reason most people have a Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde personality. I have seen this over and over and over again until I am sick to death of it. That’s why I do best on my own. No one to blame except myself. If I goof up I know how to fix it asap. Independence rather than dependent. Freedom rather than slavery. Self-reliance rather than blind obedience. That’s the life for moi.

Freedom Easy Rider

 

Gloria Struck In the Wind At 91 Years Old
Gloria Struck In the Wind At 91 Years Old

 

Gloria Struck At 25 Years Old
Gloria Struck At 25 Years Old

Chartering unknown waters. Going to places you have never gone before. Seeing sights you have never seen before. Pulling out in the morning with no particular destination in mind. Driving down the highway with the wind in your hair. Having the courage to do it and know that at any time your entire life could change in one second. But you still do it because the Freedom is worth it. All of us roll the dice every time we get out of bed in the morning. At the end of the day you just might not be coming home, at least not vertically. What I have learned is that big game we are all in is nothing more than learning to overcome your fears. Ever since I was a young tyke that’s all I ever did. Learning to overcome my fears. Learning to ignore the mass opinion and strike out on my own. Learning to make things happen rather than letting things happen. Finding more pleasure being alone by myself for a month or two by a quiet lake than cooped up in some big city with people living their lives like sardines in a can.

Your Inner Voice
I think most folks have lost their intuition and their imagination. Those are two things I value the most. When I listen to my intuition I’m right 98% of the time. When I don’t, well, let’s just say it is not pretty. Call it what you will, a funny voice in you, a feeling, a premonition, a voice that speaks without a voice, whatever you call it it’s best to listen. I could talk for hours about this. I could give you hundreds of examples in my life. One example was a long time ago in Los Angeles. I was on the southbound 101 going up the hill into Hollywood. A semi was ahead of me and I was keeping a safe distance unlike the other 99.8% of drivers in LA. Well, about this time I got a feeling or a silent voice or an out of the ballpark thought (whatever you want to call it) that I should be more careful around this truck. That feeling/silent voice kept coming. About this time 20 seconds later a VW cut across a lane and forced the semi to brake hard. The next moments went in slow motion. The semi started to jackknife and his trailer started lifting up off the left side wheels. The trailer began to tip over to the right. In slow motion I am watching this trailer go more and more over. It must have been 25 or 30 degrees over and I really thought this was it. I was blocked in by traffic with nowhere to go. Well, somehow that rig driver got a hold of the situation, straightened back out somehow and I watched as that trailer came back down and bounced back and forth. Just a bit more over and that trailer would have tipped and crashed. The VW swung wide and exited at Barham. The rig driver kept going but I’m sure he had to change his shorts at his next stop.

Little things like that have taught me I need to listen to my intuition. For the last year before Oct. 2016 my intuition was in overload condition about this “business partner” of mine. I sort of shrugged it off most of the time but my silent voice inside my head started going off more and more and more in the spring and summer of 2016. It reached a point where I decided to take major precautions and about 2 weeks later the proverbial shit hit the fan. If I had not listened to my intuition when it was basically screaming at me in my head I would have been in a world of hurt. But I did listen and what could have been a major catastrophe was little more than a hiccup. A hiccup now as I look back but at the time in Oct. 2016 it seemed massive. It was massive but my intuition helped me to prepare for it.

On the way to Texas a funny thing happened. I was being followed by a monster pickup that acted like he was hooked to my bumper. This was in a construction zone with double fines. Speed limit was 55. So here I am minding my business listening to some of my favorite tunes and this guy behind me decides he can’t take it any longer. He floors it in a construction zone (on a double yellow line while pulling a trailer!!) and leaves us in the dust. Watch what happens.

 

 

 

 

Free Spirit
I will leave you with these two thoughts to ponder on.

“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

“If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

P.S. Darcy is doing well on her gofundme page. She indicated she has a major update she’s going to talk about tomorrow. Sooner or later her dream will come true too!!

P.P.S. What’s coming in 2017? What new adventures await? Here is a sneak peak to get your imagination going.


L

Somewhere In Texas

“Something is about to happen. Something very wonderful.”

something2.jpg

This post was composed under the magical influence of True Blue by Rod Stewart

Chasing my lifelong dream…

I came across a story today that really, really touched my heart. Darcy Ward was born with nerve paralysis on the right side of her face. Nothing on that side of her face works for her. She’s 51 years old. Starting at an early age kids would tease and torment her to no end.

Darcy Ward
Darcy Ward

Darcy Ward
Darcy Ward at 3

I’ll let Darcy tell you her story….

Hi,

I was born with 7th facial nerve paralysis on the right side of my face. Nothing on that right side works.

I am a 51 year old woman who can’t  get comfortable in my own skin.

As a child, I was tormented and traumatized by other children and even adults. I would run home everyday from school to hide and cry. And it was everyday. I had such anxiety when Sunday night came, I knew I had to go to school the next day, and it was terrifying. Things they would say would hurt beyond my understanding at that age.  “Freak, retard, nobody likes you, nobody wants you here”. While all of this was going on, my parents were going through a divorce, and my brother was dying of cancer at 16, I was 11.

I am still very much hiding from life. If I go to a restaurant, I will always go to the dark booth in the back. Even at this age, some people are not kind.

As I went into junior high school, 7th grade, I thought it would help with kids being a little older and more understanding. It was even worse. I was set on fire in an art class, because a boy didn’t like my face, as luck would have it, my older sister was the teachers aide and she ran to the bathroom with me to put out my clothes, which were still on fire. I had a few minor burns. As in grade school, I was mocked, teased and told “your so ugly”, “go home retard”, “don’t look at me”, etc… I was all alone.

I didn’t finish high school, I couldn’t take it anymore. I tried to commit suicide. When that didn’t work, at 15, I found relief in cutting myself. Before anyone even new what cutting was. I didn’t know, I just knew I felt relief from it.

At the age of 18, my grandparents looked for a solution to help me. They found a micro surgeon in Portland, Or. I was so excited to have my surgeries, I couldn’t wait! I was going to be normal!! I was so naive. I looked so much worse. I had stitches in my laugh lines, all around my eye, on my leg, on my head. I had all these scars I wasn’t prepared for.  My right eye is much smaller than my other eye. They were attempting to get my eye to close all the way, it didn’t work.

I understand that was a long time ago, in 1983, and in the world of medicine things have changed drastically. New and amazing things can be done now.

I am married now, and my husband loves me the way I am.  We have modest a life, but we  don’t have any extra money.  I would give anything to have confidence in myself and to look more symmetrical and NORMAL. I am not looking for a miracle, I am very realistic.  But an improvement could change my life.

I have applied to the “Botched” & “Botched by nature” shows on E, with no response. So this is my last possibility  of getting my surgery done.

I have done the research and I have found a board certified reconstructive plastic surgeon, and he is willing to take me on. My surgeries would include, facial implants to even  and fill out my right cheek, I will need 2 of them, cost $5000,  reconstruction on my eye $2500, surgical center, $2500, Anesthesiologist $1500, I  will be able to stay with relatives in Ft. Lauderdale. That saves me the cost of flight and motel.  I am trying to raise this by the end of March.

I know  that this will give me the confidence and strength to finish school and come out of hiding.  And live the life I was meant too.  I am a  strong person, but this has always stopped me in my tracks. I have never asked for help before… can you please help me? I can not  express how grateful I would be. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
Sincerely,
Darcy

I have more pictures in the updates.

===========

The part below where she wrote this is where I lost it.

“I am still very much hiding from life. If I go to a restaurant, I will always go to the dark booth in the back. Even at this age, some people are not kind.”

Some people are not kind…. Tell me about it!!!

Some guy set her on fire in the 7th grade???? Un-effing believable!!

$755 donated as of 1.19.17  Let’s revisit Darcy in 6 months and see what happens.

https://www.facebook.com/darcy.ward.564

 

L

Somewhere In New Mexico

“Something is about to happen. Something very wonderful.”

something2.jpg

This post was composed under the magical influence of Starry Starry Night by Don McLean