The Fountainhead Howard Roark courtroom scene with Gary Cooper

You know something? I am a very stubborn person. Probably the most stubborn person in the world. I cannot handle someone telling me what to do or trying to impose their “plans” on me. I am a polite person up to a point, go past that point and I will tell you to take a hike. So many people in my life have thought they know best what is right for me. I have a message for you. You don’t and never will.

I never try to impose my will on anyone else. I don’t try and shove things down their throat. I don’t tell other people how they should live their life and what I expect of them. I don’t expect anything from anyone. And I am perfectly content. What gets me is some “authority figure” or someone else who somehow thinks it is their destiny in life to force others to do their will.  Force others to make a choice between 2 bad alternatives. No thanks, that’s not my bag baby! Nod to Austin Powers.

What is it about some people that have this driving desire to tell others how they should behave or how THEY WILL behave. I call them the controllers. There are 2 kinds of people. The ones that want to control others and the ones that DO NOT want to be controlled. Can you guess what side of the fence Little Laurie falls on?

I had teachers in elementary school mark on my report card a big fat F because I did not play well with others. I remember one teacher (Mrs. Berong) in my 4th grade class that scolded me saying I was never going to amount to anything in my life. My own mother told me the same thing when I was 15. I can still hear the words in my mind and can still see her in our den screaming those words. I just bit my tongue and went about my business. I knew what I wanted to do with my life and it was diametrically opposed to her wishes and desires. We could not be further apart in our personalities. I more or less divorced my parents when I was 18, raised my wings and flew away. I guess I could say I more or less divorced my mother when I was 18. I still kept in touch with my father who pretty much understood me but my mother was another story.

Now most of you out there have great relations with your parents but there are a few of us believe it or not that had to divorce their parents for one reason or another. My mother wanted me to go one way and I wanted to go another. We fought about it all the time. And I am a very, very peaceful person. My ideal morning is sipping a cup of coffee on the porch of a cabin deep in the woods next to a large, tranquil lake. The lake is so still and quiet. Not a single ripple on it’s glass smooth surface. That’s me. The most stubborn person in the world and the most peaceful and quiet.

Why people choose drama is beyond me. On a drama scale of 1-100 with 100 being the worst sort of dramatic life that is possible I try to stay in the 1-3 range. I’ll put this song on my headphones and just stare out over the pristine lake sipping my coffee.

Beethoven: Piano Sonata no 8 ‘Pathetique’ 2nd movement

Watch the video above. In it Gary Cooper enumerates pretty much everything I stand for. If someone else starts to tell me what I “should” do or what I “have to do” or what I “better do” then the gloves come off. For the most part I will ignore that sort of stuff and if I cannot ignore it I will walk. Life is too short to deal with that BS and those sort of people. No thanks.

 

L

Somewhere In Arizona

“Something is about to happen. Something very wonderful.”

This post was composed under the magical influence of Shooting Star by Bad Company